For you? Anything
by halbarath
Summary: What would happen if Seimei allowed Soubi to go back to his brother when he has no need for him? I think Ritsuka would do anything to keep him at his side.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** **: not mine. Kouga Yun owns it all.**

 **Chapter 1**

 _I need to talk to you. May I see you?_

He had been staring at his phone for half an hour already. When he had received Soubi's text, it had been so unexpected he had assumed it was someone's else phone that had rung. But the glowing screen had drawn his attention and he had read his message in disbelief. If it was Seimei's idea of a joke, it certainly wasn't his. But no matter what, if he had even the tiniest chance of seeing Soubi, he would go. Of course he would, it concerned Soubi.

 _"Where?"_ he texted back. When was simply irrelevant. His eyebrows flew up to his hairline when he read the address. The park where he had fought and lost against the Zero girls? Why would he chose a place that held such negative memories? Was it a warning? Was it a trap and Seimei had send the message? Did it matter? He had already taken his decision anyway.

It wasn't long before he reached the sandlot. Nor was it difficult to find Soubi, his tall and fair figure in stark contrast against the dimming light and darkening ground. He stopped, looked around and noticed no other human form. They seemed to be alone but there was no way he'd put any trust on Beloved. None of them. He went on cautiously until he was near enough to throw himself in the Fighter's arms. Circling his waist, he held him tightly, buried his nose in his coat and inhaled deeply, revelling in Soubi's presence all over him again. If he could disappear into him, if they could melt together, he was all too willing to proceed. For a few blessed minutes, they silently stood in each other's arms and warmth, his anger and hurt momentarily forgotten in the sweet reunion. But nothing lasts.

"Is Seimei around?" Ritsuka finally asked from the folds of his clothes.

"No."

"His Fighter?"

"I'm here."

"I meant Akame," he spat and stepped back a couple of meters, ears flat and tail rigid in displeasure. "Is it safe here?" he clarified.

"Yes." Soubi hadn't even tried to hold him back and just faced him, hands clasped behind his back.

"You left me," he accused.

"Yes," he whispered. He didn't elaborate. For someone who wanted to talk, he wasn't forthcoming.

"For three months," he stated calmly.

"I know." So he had counted down the days too. That was a good start at least.

"Why?" he barked and that single word held more emotions than he was willing to confess.

"Seimei would have hurt you."

"And you didn't?" he scoffed in anger and outrage.

"I'm sorry. I only thought to protect you," he amended.

"Everyone wants to protect me and ends up hurting me. Don't hide the truth from yourself: you followed my brother because you wanted to."

"I belong to him Ritsuka and Seimei doesn't share his toys. What I want is irrelevant to him."

They stood there awkwardly, Ritsuka adopting a wary posture. He sometimes looked so much like Seimei it was unnerving. He was as unyielding as his elder and while Soubi respected this in a Battle, he knew it didn't bode well outside of it. Ritsuka. It had cost him so much to be able to come back here. He was happy just looking at the child. He had come, despite his curfew that he wouldn't be able to respect and the retribution that was sure to follow, despite his anger, despite the three-months absence, despite the possibility that it might have been a trap. He had come because he had asked him to. He felt honoured. No-one has ever done this much for him. Ritsuka deserved everything.

"You wanted to talk," he said suddenly, breaking him out of his musings. "I'm listening."

"Seimei has sacrificed some pawns to make ripples. He's waiting out the outcome to decide how to play his chess game."

"Why are you telling on my brother? I don't care much for Septimal Moons or whoever he is after."

"We fought Moonless," he continued and threw the younger male off balance. "A few more others. I had forgotten how it is to fight for Beloved, what it entails. Your brother wasn't exactly pleased."

He lapsed back into silence and Ritsuka let him find his words at his own pace. Soubi would tell him in his own time. He hadn't even come close to the real matter of this conversation. Sure enough, after a few minutes, his voice rose again.

"Your brother has heralded his presence and reaffirmed his supremacy by making me fight. He will rely on Akame to spy for the time being. Which means he has no use for me right now. I argued with him for coming back here." His words hang in the air between them, heavy in their implication. There were many threads to be picked up and he would let Ritsuka choose which one to broach first. He took his sweet time to do it.

"How long before he claims you back?"

"I don't know. It depends on how people react to his little show. I'll wager a couple of months."

"I wasn't aware you know how to disagree. Especially with your Sacrifice."

"I've learned."

"Is it still painful?"

Yes, it was. Apart from the onetime Seimei had branded him as Beloved, he had always refrained from touching him. There was no contact with Seimei. But when he had argued with him, when he had dared to speak up, he had definitely touched him. And it hadn't been very pleasant. But Ritsuka didn't need to know about this.

"What your brother does to me doesn't matter, Ritsuka," he chided gently, head slightly cocked to one side, his usual wan smile finding its way on his lips.

"It matters, Soubi!" he exclaimed. "He has no right to do so!"

"And your mother has no right to hurt you."

"Leave my mother out of this, Soubi," he warned and his tone brooked no argument. Whether he chose to let it go because he didn't want to anger him, because for once he had obeyed or because he didn't want to quarrel, he had no idea but he was glad all the same. "Soubi, what do you want?" he asked, knowing the other had been beating around the bush from the beginning.

"Don't you understand?"

"I want to hear it from you."

"I would like you to allow me to come back to you."

"I'm not second-choice, Soubi. You can't expect me to take you in each time Seimei cuts you some slack."

"I know that." He closed his eyes and drew a steadying breath.

Somehow, it appeased him to see Soubi so un-composed. Still, he wasn't going to help him out of the hole he had dug for himself. He only had to close his eyes and remember how his heart had shattered when he had followed Seimei. He had turned his back on him without a second thought. Let him explain on his own, however difficult it might be. Everyone gets his in the end.

"I'm a Fighter. I've never considered myself anything more, Ritsuka. A Fighter, who lives to serve. Ritsu trained me as such, your brother used me as such. Ritsu instilled in me the idea my Sacrifice would be my everything. That my life would revolve around him and all my thoughts and actions would pertain to him. Who was I to defy his teachings? I only ever knew the both of them. The idea they might be wrong never even crossed my mind."

"Surely Soubi, you witnessed other Units' relation. Didn't you find it strange it was so different from yours?"

"I was angry at Ritsu when I left Gōra. He had betrayed me. I had no wish to go back there and if I had ever defied Seimei, where could I have gone? I was seventeen then."

"But Seimei? He has always hurt you."

"I'm used to it," he shrugged casually. "And we always defeated the other units. Seimei was proud of me when I won, Ritsuka."

"Soubi, you can't possibly find it sufficient?" He saw him smile sadly and he knew he wouldn't like his answer.

"What are you willing to bear for your mother not to leave you, Ritsuka?" The younger boy looked down, head bent, shoulders hunched, tail and ears low. "Did you merely assume I can't understand what makes you stay in this house and protect her when she clearly attempts to kill you? Do you still need me to explain why I've been so loyal to your brother? Your brother who chose me as his Fighter, who deemed me worthy enough to bear his name, me who am blank and have no name? Me, whom some unknown entity has decided I wasn't good enough to be fated for a Sacrifice? Do you really need me to explain Ritsuka?" he repeated and there was an edge to his voice that the younger boy had never heard before.

He looked up at the Fighter and watched him carefully. He was tense and there was the same urgency in his eyes that he had perceived in his voice. He couldn't explain his loyalty with words. It was such a raw need, such an deep link that he couldn't bear to order him to break it, despite his own hurt and need. He understood now that Soubi would never be his. His name would never be changed and he would remain Beloved. Loveless he was because his broken heart shattered a bit more at this sudden realization. He would never have a Fighter since he would never accept someone else. And Soubi would never abandon a name that bore such psychological weigh. Could he make do with second-choice without losing his mind and freezing his heart? Did he really have a choice? Was he ready to let Soubi go? No. No, he wasn't. And he knew it as a fact that he would never be ready. He wanted to go to him, to hold him. But he restrained himself and fisted his hands at his sides. He would hear him out and tend to his wounds in private later.

"No. I understand," he whispered loud enough for the other to hear the admission.

"We've fought Moonless and won. But Seimei ordered me to hurt them."

"Soubi—" he began but was cut short.

"You told me not to kill our enemies. You told me not to hit the losing opponent across the face. Moonless had come to my condo. They had met you. That night when I saw them I thought about you Ritsuka. I had no wish to hurt them after their defeat. I thought about you so strongly that I didn't realize I had refused to obey aloud. I had refused and Akame was too hurt to do anything."

"You disobeyed?"

"Hai. Seimei wasn't pleased with me. He said you had spoilt me."

"What has he done?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me!"

"I really doesn't Ritsuka. That night I realized I could refuse an order without the soul-wrenching pain I was expecting. I realized I could oppose my Sacrifice if I was willing to bear the punishment that followed. I realized that Ritsu's teachings might have some leeway. Ritsuka, I don't like your brother. I was grateful he chose me. I was grateful he needed me. But you chose me once too. You needed me too once. I don't want to be faithful to Beloved. I don't want to follow his command anymore. I want to follow yours. I want to be your Fighter. I want to be Loveless. I want you to change my name. Ritsuka," he pleaded, dropped down to his level and took his hand in his, "would you allow me to be yours? To protect you and stay by your side? Would you allow me to be your Fighter?"


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N : not mine. Kouga Yun owns it all._

 **Chapter 2**

They were back in Gōra. His lips curled in distaste. He had wished he would never have to set foot here again. He had left it at 17, hoping never to come back. Yet here he was for the second time because Ritsuka had ordered and his mouth had dutifully answered before his mind had processed the words. For once, Kio had agreed with him when he had protested afterwards. He had been loud about it too. It made him smile — in retrospect.

They had been here for almost a week and he had yet to go and see Ritsu. He was in no hurry really. He had nothing to say to him and there was nothing he could say that was worth hearing. Nagisa was pestering them but he couldn't care less about her. She had only ever made his life more miserable and her shrill voice hurt his ears as much as her raucous attitude grated on his nerves. There was no lost love between them and he owed her nothing. Ritsuka however was another matter altogether. And her badgering was annoying him. He knew he was only delaying the inevitable. In a few days at most, Ritsuka would lose patience and command him to go there so that Nagisa wouldn't approach them again. They could only hope but he wasn't deluded about it.

Ritsuka had insisted on their need to train properly, not mentioning they still didn't share a name. His hand lifted to his throat— Seimei's everlasting gift. They both wanted to erase his name. Yes, Seimei had let him return to his sibling for the time being but he wasn't free. It was nothing short of a miracle that the youngest had allowed him back. But the trust had been broken and it was still often difficult between them. Ritsuka was even less prone to overlook his usual behaviour. He was more short-tempered and forgave less easily — which was still infinitely more than for Ritsu or Seimei. He could see Ritsuka was glad here. He liked Midori and Ai and enjoyed spending time with them. And if he kept it up, he would rapidly become a damn good Sacrifice. He had some history with pain after all.

"What is it, Soubi?" he asked shortly, drawing him out of his musings.

"Mmh? Nothing, just thinking about here."

"Will you tell me?" He saw Soubi's face darken and knew he would refuse.

"There's nothing worth telling," he grumbled.

"Don't you trust me with your secrets?"

Ritsuka felt annoyed, all the time. He knew it was wrong to hold a grudge against his Fighter. He had had no choice but to follow Seimei. He had explained and apologized and come back at the first opportunity. But it had hurt so much. Each time they disagreed, he would get mad at Soubi. And it really wasn't fair: he refused to order him into submission but he still expected it from him. And when Soubi bent to his wishes, he was mad at him because he hadn't thought for himself. He wasn't fair and anger was still bubbling up.

"There's nothing a twelve-years-old should know about."

"Don't mollycoddle me. It's condescending."

"I'm sorry," he offered. Ritsuka growled an assent.

"We came here to change your name and be stronger. We haven't made any progress in either."

"Ritsuka—" he trailed off, unsure whether he should speak his mind. "I'm not sure we'll find a way to change it, especially here." He saw the young Sacrifice turn red.

"Damn it! Your chain is severed and Seimei has his true Fighter. Can't you let it go? You should as well have stayed with him," he yelled, knowing which buttons to push.

"Ritsuka—" he pleaded.

"If you don't think we can do anything about it then what are you doing here? Why did you bother coming back at all?" Ritsuka's smouldering eyes burned him through to his soul and seemed to leave a big hole where his heart should have been. "Go back to him," he spat as he turned his back on him and chose to face the wall instead.

"Is that an order?"

The young boy was so often angry at him. He would lash at him, never censoring his words and preferably choosing those that would hurt him most. It was Ritsuka's way of dealing with too strong emotions and he didn't blame him; he was still a child after all. But it hurt all the same. The teen whirled around and stared him down. If Soubi stood any straighter his spine would most certainly break he reflected. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to apologize.

"I don't do orders," he snarled.

"Maybe you should," a new voice chimed in as Minami Ritsu strolled in casually, slowly making his way inside as if he wasn't interrupting a certainly loud but still private conversation. "Welcome back Aoyagi Ritsuka," he greeted. "Soubi-kun, I had hoped you'd come visit me."

"What are you doing here exactly?" Ritsuka asked rudely and suspiciously.

"We had no opportunity to properly talk if I recall correctly. Last time was slightly— difficult due to some interferences, thanks to your brother," he conceded lightly.

"Yes, well, that doesn't dispense you from knocking," he snapped. "You're interrupting us. It's rude."

"Aren't you touchy? I have knocked but you've been too loud to hear me, young Aoyagi. And Nagisa has asked you to come see me earlier I believe."

Ritsuka huffed in annoyance and got closer to Soubi, instinctively placing himself between them. He had no illusion: both were physically superior to him. Even blind, Minami-sensei exuded some menacing aura. He always seemed to know where Soubi was, his body angled towards him even when he was not speaking to him. He didn't like him. He felt like facing Soubi's dark Doppelganger: same appearance, same attitude, same fake smile. They even talked and stood alike. But Soubi was too calm. He recognized the signs now that his own anger had been redirected. His face was too blank, his back too straight and he had managed to take out and lit one of his foul cigarette. Nasty habit he hadn't the heart to order him to break. His posture was far too relaxed to be genuine. Soubi hated this place and this man, he could feel it.

"Soubi-kun," he spoke again "it's nice to hear you've reviewed your position on piano-wires." He smiled and Ritsuka's skin crawled. "However, I thought I had trained you better. Honestly, disagreeing with a Sacrifice... It's unbecoming from a Fighter."

Soubi didn't twitch and didn't reply. Ritsuka's blood boiled.

"Excuse me," he enunciated. "I don't believe this matter affects you. Kindly say what you came here for then leave."

"Don't get so worked-up, Ritsuka-chan. I meant no harm." Ritsuka scoffed.

"Well, just so we're clear, you don't get to talk to Soubi that way."

"Yes, you're absolutely right. I'm sorry," he concurred and momentarily appeased the teen. "Only his Sacrifice may." Ritsuka frowned. "And that's neither of us, is it?" he simpered.

He felt Soubi's arms encircle him and was suddenly pressed against him. They might have their differences but they protected each other.

"Don't patronize Ritsuka," he intervened. "Heed my advice, I won't warn you twice."

"Alright both of you. I see it's not a good time. How about you come tomorrow to my office when it's convenient for you, hm?" He waved them off and left without waiting for an answer. "See you tomorrow," he called from the hallway.

Ritsuka left the warmth of Soubi's body and turned to face him.

"Is he always that obnoxious?"

"Believe me, he can be much worse. He's been on his best behaviour right now," he sneered.

"I don't like him, Soubi. You stay clear of him, you hear me? Don't meet him without me."

Soubi smiled. Ritsuka was sweet. The man had raised him, he knew how to handle him. But Ritsuka was giving an order and it was too cute to refuse him anything.

"Understood," he answered. Angry Ritsuka and protective Ritsuka tended to bring out a more dominating one. Interesting fact. He filed it away.

* * *

 _ **A/N : I had fun writing it. I hope you'll like it. Thanks to all who read and a bigger one to those who take the time to review.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N : not mine. Kouga Yun owns it all._

 **Chapter 3**

"Sensei," he greeted. "You wished to talk."

"Ritsuka-chan, I see you don't trouble yourself with decorum."

"Let's say I've lacked some parental guidance lately and leave it as that."

"To the point then..." He cleared his throat. "What brings you to Gōra exactly? We both know training is only a pretext since Soubi-kun is both strong and competent enough to compensate your youth and inexperience."

"But we don't share a name. You know we're disadvantaged. And Seimei rules as king over him."

"Of course he does. He is his Sacrifice."

"He shouldn't be and you know it. You let my brother manipulates you into abandoning Soubi to him."

"Seimei can be very persuasive."

"I don't care what flattery he buttered you up with. Allowing Seimei to have two Fighters is a massive blunder and you're well aware of it. By the way, did you even know about Akame when you decided to murder my brother?"

"We suspected it."

"Hm. After Seimei's latest performance, Soubi came back to me. Of his own volition."

"I have to concede that is unexpected."

"He requested to become Loveless. For the second time since I met him."

"So you're wondering if you can change his name."

"No. I'm asking you how to do it." He saw the blind man smile. It wasn't a nice smile.

"How? You should ponder whether you would be able to."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"Your brother chose a particularly sensitive place to mark Soubi-kun. You will have to cut him deep enough to write over his name. I certainly hope you understand he can't be put out while you're at it." There was a pregnant pause. "Do you feel up to it?"

He thought over it, feeling nauseous even considering it.

"If that's what it takes to make Soubi mine, then yes." The blind man chuckled darkly.

"Soubi-kun will bear your name and answer your commands. But that child is mine." Ritsuka blinked in surprise.

"I think Soubi would differ. I'm sorry to break it to you but he has no respect and no love for you. I don't think he will ever forgive you."

"You're only children, both of you."

"Don't talk down to me. I might still be young but I've had my fair share of unreliable adults. Don't act like you're almighty when Seimei had double-crossed you without raising any suspicion time and again."

"Have you looked at Soubi-kun properly?" he asked, not taking the bait.

"Are you implying he is your biological son? Because if that's the case, then you're even more twisted than my brother. At least he had some modicum of love for me. How could you treat your own flesh so ghastly? If you really believe he is your son and you purposefully abused him, you're the most perverted being I've ever met," he spat. "I understand better now why Soubi didn't want to come here. I should have listened to him."

"A Sacrifice shouldn't take a Fighter's wishes into account."

"And partners work together better when they respect each other. That's why Soubi came back to me even though you're a stronger Sacrifice and you know how to control your Fighter."

"Soubi-kun tends to be picky. I see it's a trait I haven't managed to break out of him."

"Soubi? Picky? We are not talking about the same person. You've perfectly modelled him into a mindless puppet. You've beaten any rebellious instinct out of him. Is that what you pride yourself on?"

"You're hot-tempered Ritsuka-chan. You speak your mind without considering the situation. Understandable at your age but annoying all the same. I've made Soubi-kun unbeatable. He is perfect."

"Wrong. You've made the perfect soldier— as cannon fodder. But as a guardian, you've failed abysmally and I know what I'm talking about. You abused a child under your care and justified it as a mean to an end that proved satisfactory to your organization. You chide me because I am not afraid to speak freely. I only state facts. If you find them distasteful you should ponder on the validity of your actions and behaviour towards Soubi."

"You should do well to remember where you are Loveless."

"We can leave right now if you so wish. I'm not afraid of you sensei. Soubi fights for me and as you pointed out, he has yet to be defeated. Moreover, Seimei wouldn't let an attack on me go unnoticed. We might differ but I know he wouldn't take it well if you purposefully hurt me. I advise you to not threaten Soubi or me, sensei. I may be young but I'm neither naive nor defenceless. And my name is Ritsuka." The older man chuckled.

"You're an interesting opponent but I have no quarrel with you. You requested hospitality— which I granted. I see now Soubi-kun is a sore point between us. I won't make the mistake twice to overlook your possessiveness and territoriality over him."

"Territoriality? Soubi is not a thing to possess."

"Isn't he? Then why are you considering naming him without any anaesthetic? Isn't it abuse too?"

"Yes it is," he conceded sourly. "And who is to blame ultimately? I who will hurt him with full knowledge of the facts? Seimei who is a prick who took pleasure in choosing the worst way and one of the worst place to name him? You who broke him to the point he relishes any attention given to him, even the wrong one? Soubi, who cannot understand abuse is wrong under any circumstances and who never rebels? Whose fault is it, sensei? And what other choice is available?"

"So, you do care about Soubi-kun."

"Of course I do! Why would I go through the trouble of coming here if I didn't believe you could help me find a way to alleviate his pain? Did you think I enjoy forcing him to stay here? He asked me to change his name. Soubi never asks for anything. He never acknowledges his needs or desires. Your gift to him, I assume? That is the only thing he ever truly asked out of me. The least I can do is grant his wish, whatever the cost to me. And if I have to carve him so he can be free of Seimei, then so be it. I will shoulder the responsibility," he paused, a frown firmly in place. "Now that I've bared myself to you, will you provide your assistance?"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N : not mine. Kouga Yun owns it all._

 **I've been away for the holidays. Sorry, I had no time to post before leaving !**

 **Chapter 4**

When he came back to their room, his first instinct— as illogical as it was— was to check Ritsuka's ears. He rushed to his young Sacrifice, wrapping his pale and trembling form in his arms, sheltering him from whatever had shaken him so. Ritsuka had been gone almost two hours and he had thought he would lose patience as he waited for him. He was well aware of Ritsu's mind games and hadn't felt at ease as long as Ritsuka wasn't safely tucked away under his proverbial wing. But Ritsuka had assured him beforehand he'd be alright and refused that he accompanied him, saying it would shift the power-relations.

"Are you alright Ritsuka?" he wondered, his Sacrifice's well-being having priority over his curiosity.

Ritsuka broke away from him, sat on the edge of the bed, looked at him intently then changed his mind and knelt in front of him. He stared at him with a strange intensity, as if imprinting his features in his mind. It wasn't a pleasant sensation to feel looked at so hard.

"What is troubling you Ritsuka?" he finally asked.

"Something that sensei said and that is very, very disturbing."

"You shouldn't give it too much credit. He has always been manipulative."

"Did he know your mother?" Soubi blinked.

"Yes. I've always assumed she had been his Fighter." Ritsuka blanched worryingly. "What's the matter?"

"You won't like it."

"I'm sure I've heard worse." Ritsuka didn't look convinced.

"He said you are his."

"Is that all? He's just imagining things. You shouldn't worry over that old man. I would die before I went back to him." Ritsuka frowned.

"You don't understand. He said 'that child is mine.' He pointed out you look alike. Soubi, he didn't only mean you belong to him as a Fighter. He implied you're his son."

"Preposterous. He's delusional. Senility had hit him prematurely."

"Won't you consider it?"

"No," he said and Ritsuka saw and heard the finality of his decision in that small word. For his sanity, he dismissed the idea altogether and would deny everything completely. So be it. "Did he say something _**worth**_ listening to?" he asked.

"He said I have to carve you over Seimei's name. You can't be numb." Ritsuka looked at him sadly. "It will be excruciating, Soubi. And it's not a given it will be enough."

"I won't love you less if you don't feel up to it, Ritsuka."

"I'm not sure I can go through with it. I want you to be my Fighter but I don't know if I can hurt you purposefully."

"I went through the pain once Ritsuka and there were many more lines to draw then. I know what to expect."

"I know that but that doesn't make it right. I have to carve you Soubi. To cut your skin and flesh. To write an awful name on you that will leave a scar. To bind you to me forever. You will bleed and suffer. It will hurt you Soubi. I'm not sure I can do this. I feel sick just thinking about it. I don't think I have it in me."

For the next few days, both were subdued. Ritsuka had badly taken the outcome of his tête-à-tête with Ritsu and spent most of his time talking with Breathless, Zero or Nana. He avoided Ritsu and any other units.

For his part he was disappointed. He wasn't surprised Ritsuka couldn't name him— his heart was too soft. He didn't resent the boy for it because he knew Ritsuka wanted him as his Fighter. He didn't have the streak of violence that it required nor had he the gut yet to mark him. He just hoped he wouldn't be ready when it will be too late. On the plus side, it seemed to have bridged the gap between them. They could find solace in each other's presence and Ritsuka allowed physical contact again. Their bond had reappeared and was beginning to strengthen again. He was glad.

When Ritsuka came back that night, he was different: the way he walked or the way he looked at him, maybe in the tightening of his jaw, something had happened. When they went to sleep, Ritsuka scuttled closer to him and held him tightly. He rarely initiated such intimacy.

"Soubi," he whispered softly to draw his attention. "I will never accept another Fighter, you know that, right?" He waited until he muttered an assent. "I'm sorry I'm not strong enough for you. I'm a Sacrifice, I should be able to bear the pain."

"It's alright Ritsuka. You've never been trained. You can't possibly expect so much from yourself." He felt him tighten his arms around his waist.

"Do you really want to be Loveless, Soubi? To chain yourself to me? I'm no good as a Sacrifice and that will piss off a lot of powerful opponents— Seimei on top of them."

"If I could choose, I'd choose you Ritsuka. Any day and whatever the consequences. Don't you know that?" He felt the child shiver. Was he crying?

"I promise you'll be Loveless. I promise and I mean it."

The following day, Ritsuka disappeared the whole morning. When he came back, he looked down in the dumps but had an air of resolve about him that he hadn't often witnessed.

"Do you trust me, Soubi?" he asked seriously.

"Of course."

"Follow me," he commanded and took his hand to lead him through the hallways of the Academy. They stopped before an unremarkable door. He looked at him gravely then caught the lapels of his shirt and tugged him down to his level. Surprisingly, he kissed him and when he pulled back, his eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Sukidayo, Soubi," he whispered in his ear, so softly he barely heard him.

Still dazed from the boy's confession, he followed him dutifully into a room as unremarkable as the door. But the blade was glaringly obvious. Ritsuka had promised. He stared at him, eyes wide and fearful but determined. _Are you sure? Are you ready?_ they wondered. He looked at his small Sacrifice, willing to go against all his principles to grant his wish. Ritsuka wouldn't emerge unscathed. Could he ask it of him? He shouldn't. Could he bear to follow Seimei and break Ritsuka's heart again? No, never.

"Sukidayo Ritsuka," he answered his silent questions. He saw him grit his teeth. It didn't take long before he did the same. He hadn't ever thought he'd have to suffer so much again. Nothing equalled this pain: not the whip, not the Battles, not even the nail Zero had driven through his hand. And that had been painful. But for Ritsuka's sake he wouldn't make a sound. He had learned to do it. There were only four letters. He did it once. He could do it again.

For Ritsuka who was a kind master.

For Ritsuka who was white as a sheet.

For Ritsuka who had allowed him back.

For Ritsuka who allowed touch and kisses.

For Ritsuka who laid on his chest with the blade in his small hand, keeping tears in check.

For Ritsuka who had said sukidayo.

For Ritsuka who was doing something for him.

For Ritsuka who was shedding his innocence to change his name.

For Ritsuka whom he loved more than anyone. More than he had ever loved Seimei. More than he should love his Sacrifice.

Then it was over and he felt relieved— albeit slightly groggy. He heard the blade clatter on the metal tray and Ritsuka's rapid footsteps. He heard a door bang and the violent gag of someone retching. He tried to move to console his Sacrifice but a firm hand held him down and tended to his newest wounds. He helplessly heard Ritsuka's heaving sobs and swore never to be the reason behind his pain again before he was forcibly put out by some medicine.

When he woke up, he was alone, bore a raging headache and his neck was bandaged — again. He had been brought back to their room and spotted a promising glass of water on the bedside table. His head swam when he sat up but the dizziness passed. Ritsuka. Where was he? Worry filled him as memories of his distress flashed in his mind. He had to find him and reassure him. He got out of bed, fought another bout of dizziness, fumbled to find his phone, gave up and made a bee-line towards his clothes. Focused on his need to find the teen and still fuzzy-headed, he instinctively called him. It wasn't until the door banged open to reveal an out-of-breath Ritsuka that he stopped in his unsuccessful attempts to get dressed.

"What's wrong?" he cried, looking frantically around to spot any threat. Relieved upon finding none, he turned his attention back on Soubi, still rooted on the spot. "What are you doing out of bed?" he asked as he steered him towards the mattress and tucked him in again.

"I woke up and you weren't there."

"Of course, baka! You shouldn't even be awake yet." He went to leave but the Fighter caught his wrist and pulled him back down.

"Stay with me Ritsuka. I sleep better when I know you're safe." The child sighed but still took his shoes off and climbed into bed with him.

"You realize you've called me, Soubi, don't you?"

"Called you?" he repeated already half-asleep. Ritsuka smiled softly.

"It worked. You're Loveless now. And you know what? I liked how it felt when you called me."

"I'm sorry," he answered groggily and the youngest blinked in surprise.

"What for?"

"I'm sorry for the pain I've brought you."

"I held the knife. You were under it. I'd think you suffered more."

"It was worth it Ritsuka. It was worth it," he yawned. "Sukidayo my little neko," he said as his eyes drifted shut again.

They fell asleep wrapped around each other. That is how Nagisa still found them when she came to change his bandages. It wasn't a nice scar. It would never be. Seimei had marred his throat with angry red thorns that suited him perfectly. Ritsuka's letters were surprisingly straight and neat, apart from the second, thicker L: somehow they were also in character. Two different scars for two different masters. Soubi now sported two words forming an order rather than a single one naming him. It suited him better too.

BE **.** LOVE **L** ESS **.**

Yes, it suited him better than Beloved. Yet as she looked at the strange couple that was Ritsuka and Soubi, she could tell love was binding them together. May they find their way together and get the hell out of Gōra as quickly as possible. She had no love for Soubi and she didn't like the Aoyagis. But at least, Seimei was shorter of a Fighter— and a powerful one moreover. Beloved without Soubi? She was curious to hear about them.

* * *

It wasn't long before Seimei noticed something was amiss. By then Ritsuka and Soubi were no longer in Gōra and stood as easy targets. The confrontation was short-lived. There wasn't much Seimei could do except acknowledge the fact his brother had stolen his Fighter — with Soubi's blessing.

* * *

 **Reviews, pretty please?**


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer : not mine. Kouga Yun owns it all._

 **This is the last chapter. I hope you'll like it. I hope you've enjoyed my modest story and I hope you'll come read me again when I'll post next. Also, I hope you'll review. Think about it?**

 **Chapter 5**

This day was special. It marked the day Soubi officially became his. It marked the day he had hurt another human being on purpose. It marked the day he had made another human being his possession. It marked the day he had stooped as low as those he despised. It marked the day he had scarred someone he cared for. It marked the day he had found a cruel streak inside him, strong enough to take precedence over his principles. It marked the day he had let the end justify the mean. This day was a bad day. This day he wanted to see no-one. He wanted to talk to no-one. This day he was sullen and withdrawn and in a bad mood.

Soubi knocked on his window and his cheerfulness irked him even more. His day was as down as Soubi's was up. This day was the one day of the year when they stood at exact opposites of mood. It had been four years and it still hadn't improved.

"Don't brood again, Ritsuka," he consoled.

He only levelled a dark glare at him before his eyes were inevitably drawn to his throat. He would never be able to forget. How Soubi's skin had resisted to the blade and how the blood had pooled when it had broken. How they had told him he hadn't cut deeply enough for the scars to be potent. How Soubi's jaw had tightened and his eyes darkened with pain and still he hadn't moved under his blade. He knew Soubi feared knives. But he hadn't even whimpered. Not a sound had escaped and as horrible as it sounded it had been a blessing then because he wouldn't have been able to write all four letters and two dots if he had expressed any pain. What he had done — it was vile. No matter how many times Soubi told him he was happy to be his or how thankful he was to have his name re-written, Ritsuka would never forgive himself for hurting him. Had it really been an act of love? Or had it just been territoriality and self-preservation? He had always wanted Soubi. Whom had he done it for? For the Fighter or himself?

True enough, Soubi was his since. He was his Fighter. He was his confidant. Hell, he was his boyfriend most of the time. And still he couldn't forget. He hadn't known he was capable of such barbarism. He had felt sick— he still felt sick about it really — but it hadn't relieved him. He had cried his eyes out, heart-wrenching sobs that were as sorrowful as those he had cried at his brother's funeral. When it hadn't eased the pain either, he had ranted and screamed and raged and broke everything he could laid his hands on. He had taken it out on those who had been present, on Zero and Breathless who had been called forth to reason him. But none had managed to break through to him. This act had tainted his soul as surely as Soubi's blood had tainted his hands. When tiredness finally settled in, he had slammed the door and went to brood in a secluded corner. He had no idea how long he had remained despondent before Soubi had called him. He had heard him as clearly as if he had been right next to him. He had felt afraid then and he had run as fast as he could, rushing past doors and students, acknowledging nothing and no-one. Nothing mattered except Soubi. Oh, the sweet relief when he had finally reached their room and found him safe. Somehow, the void in him had receded when Soubi's arms had encircled him. He still had this uncanny ability to abate the blackness in his heart.

"Don't brood Ritsuka," he repeated knowing that every year, his mind would go over that day, again and again, making him relive one of his worst memories. This day was a day he hated with a passion. "Let's make good memories today," he offered.

* * *

"Ritsuka, you're going to be late for your curfew," he warned when the teen showed no intention of going home.

"Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?" He was startled by the demand.

"Of course not. But won't your mother be upset with you?"

"I can call her if you want."

There was something weird with Ritsuka: he was restless which means he was up to something. Let him have his secrets, he always told him in the end. But by the time they were both ready to sleep, he still hadn't shared his mind. It was — annoying. Ritsuka nestled against him, his favourite position when they both laid down together. He threaded his fingers through Ritsuka's soft hair, still marvelling at its softness as well as his Sacrifice's obvious pleasure at being touched and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

"Kiss me Soubi," he suddenly requested.

It wasn't unusual. That Ritsuka kissed him back wasn't unusual either. Nor that he huddled against him closer or run his hands on him. It wasn't unusual either that they'd shed their T-shirts to enjoy the feel of their connected skins.

But it was unusual that Ritsuka pushed him back to the mattress so that he'd lay flat on his back. It was unusual that he kissed and sucked on his throat, most probably leaving a trail of love bites in his wake. It was unusual that he prevented him from moving by pushing his hands away. He pulled away and his fingers replaced his lips on his skin to trace the scars. He followed them softly, still silent. Each line, each thorn; went lower, traced the letters, one after the other, taking his time as if he wanted to memorize their feel on his fingertips. In all the years he had known Ritsuka, he had never touched his scars— except during the fight against Sleepless and they had barely known each other then.

"I'm sorry Soubi," he murmured.

"Don't be. It was well worth it. The pain was short-lived while your name is eternal."

It was unusual that Ritsuka didn't pick up on it and object. Instead, he inched closer and started to methodically lick them. To say he was surprised would be an understatement. The feel of Ritsuka's tongue on his name was — erotic. He growled.

"Is that unpleasant?" his Sacrifice asked in a small voice.

"No," he managed. "Not at all."

"I want you," he declared suddenly, all shyness gone and stopping the tantalizing movement of his pink tongue on his skin. "Take my ears, Soubi."

He tensed briefly. He was flattered but Ritsuka was just above sixteen. True, he knew what he wanted. True, they loved each other. True, he wanted to and was definitely aroused. But he wouldn't. How could he refuse him without hurting his feelings? He knew first-hand what it meant to lose one's ears young. He remembered their looks and whispers. He remembered their jeers and finger-pointing. He didn't wish it on his Sacrifice, not on sweet, loving, kind Ritsuka. He would be angry and disappointed. He would blush and look away. But still, he couldn't take his ears. Not mentioning his parents, Kio and Ritsuka's friends. No, it definitely wasn't a good idea, despite the younger male trying his best to influence his decision with sweet caresses and fondling. He kissed him.

"Not yet my neko," he answered and kissed him again, his hands on his back preventing him from pulling away to hide in the bed sheets. "The aftermath would be too bothersome to face."

"I don't care. I'm used to people talking behind my back. I won't get ashamed."

"Believe me. You don't want to go back to school without your ears yet."

"I can wear fake ones."

"And the next time your mother tries to drown you and they fell off, what will happen then?"

He allowed him to turn his back on him and sulk in silence. He let his arguments sink in and make their way to his mind. Ritsuka most certainly got angry easily but he knew how to reason him. Just as he knew he had chosen the right words. He heard him sigh softly in defeat. That was his cue then. He draped an arm over him and hand flat on his stomach pressed him against him.

"Ritsuka," he whispered in his ear and sucked on it lightly. Ritsuka twitched. "Won't you turn and kiss me again?" He grumbled, his words lost in the pillow. "What was that?" he asked and nibbled on the tender skin at the base of his neck. He felt him shiver.

"Kissing isn't enough," he muttered, obviously embarrassed.

"Are you sure you want to deepen the intimacy? There is no hurry really," he assuaged.

Ritsuka turned —had he changed his mind?—and levelled darkened eyes to him. He was on pins and needles, so nervous he was quivering. And Soubi's unrelenting innocent caresses didn't help.

"You said you won't."

"You haven't answered."

"Do I need to?" Soubi looked at him curiously and his hands stilled on him.

"Yes. I don't want to rush you into something you're not ready for. I need to be sure you'll tell me if you want me to stop or if you're uncomfortable."

"Of course I would," he answered off-handedly.

"I'm serious," he frowned. "It's no trivial matter. Don't trifle with it."

"I know," the youngest soothed. "I've already thought it over. And no matter how I look at it, I want you. I want to feel you, to hear you, to kiss you. I want to be closer. I want to melt into you. I feel feverish with you. I itch to touch you. I need your presence. Soubi, I'll wait if you ask me to. But don't tell me how I should feel. That is my prerogative and mine only."

His Sacrifice could be so fiery. He smiled and kissed him, a rough, hungry kiss. He kissed him until Ritsuka whimpered and relaxed in his arms.

"Don't go to sleep yet my neko. Your ears are safe for now. You don't need to lose them for us to be intimate."

"Soubi?" he questioned, not yet understanding the innuendo. But his lover only smiled knowingly.

"Night is long and I'm more than willing to oblige."

When he'll be done with his Sacrifice, they will definitely have made new memories for this day, good enough to stifle the others.

 **The end**


End file.
